The Glamorous Life of a Real Estate Agent
A day in the life of a real estate agent can be glamorous, can’t it? Showing homes in 113 degree temperatures, running away from dogs that weren’t mentioned in the showing instructions, finding unexpected naked people in the bathroom while showing the master bath.
Recently my mother, a Realtor in Santa Cruz County, called me. “I just showed 4,000 square feet of poop”, she said. “Literally. I walked through the house and it was covered in dog poop. In every room, there were piles and piles and piles of poop.” Sounds exciting, doesn’t it? She managed to impress her clients by touring the entire property, poop and all. It’s no shock her clients didn’t write on that one.
Or how about going to check on your listing, only to find it had burned down, as Andy Kaufman and his My East Bay Agent Team in Berkeley, California did. Too bad, as they had just accepted an offer on the property only the day before.
You have heard the gruesome horror stories. You have probably lived them. Yet often, some people think being a real estate agent is all champagne wishes and caviar dreams and commission checks. It’s a tough job, particularly in this market climate where long escrows, long listing periods and short sales a plenty are more likely to be the norm than robust commission checks and quick sales.
We thought it would be fun to hear your stories of “The Glamorous Life of A Real Estate Agent”. A day in the life of an agent can be a wacky one. Have a story to share? Briefly share it below in the comments. We may feature it in future posts.
Go ahead. What’s your story?
Ginger Wilcox, Head of Industry Marketing
Ginger Wilcox is Head of Industry Marketing at Trulia. Follow Ginger on Twitter
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I think we can all share a story about working with a client for weeks, showing them many properties and then finding out that they walked into an Open House and bought it from a quick talking agent that convinced them to buy it on the spot. We need to learn to say NEXT and just Let it Go! It is not easy!
Ken, You are so right. And yes, I have been there too!
I have been in the business since 1973 and never encountered a viscious person with two visceous dogs untill a clients daughter sicked her two rottweilers on me last October. Of course they have everything in a trust and have no insurance. The dogs have bitten so severly before that a woman was life flighted to the hospital but nothing has been done to thr owner or the dogs.
Your so lucky you walked out of there alive, homeowners don’t realize that as agents we must know if there any vicious pets or that can attack thinking we are trespassers. I hope you are making a full recovery.
Millie from Remax Voyage
After reading about your experience, I feel very fortunate, and hope you are doing well.
While previewing a home that had a remark (don’t pet the cat), I encountered an attacking cat. When I entered the front door, the cat was off to the side and made a hissing and almost growling noise. I just kept moving through the home, and eventually into the master bedroom. When I tried to leave the master bedroom, the cat had gotten in front of the door, kind of set back and made terrible noises. I picked up a pillow off the bed and held it in front as I tried to make my way out of the room. The cat jumped at me and hit the pillow. To this day, I shudder to think what would have happened if I did not have the pillow in front of me. I closed the door, and was trapped – everytime I tried to open the door, the cat jumped at the door. It was one of the scariest moments of my life, and I kept thinking of the woman attacked by the chimp some time ago. There was a phone in the room; therefore, I called the floor duty person and asked her to look up a contact person and ask them to come home (I had left my purse w/cell phone in it in the car).
Turns out – it was a rescue cat that had been abused, but it was definitely a very bad experience.
Hard to believe people can get by with something like that, hope you are well.
My animal real estate story involves a snake. I’m showing a listing for the first time, walk around a bed in a very small bedroom when my client says, what is that on the chest of drawers? Yep, a huge snake. I screamed bloody murder, had to run by the thing to get out of the bedroom, pushed my client with me to the front yard, shaking and still screaming. I told her I was not going back in that house, fortunately, she agreed.
Called the listing agent and gave him a piece of my mind. He knew it was there!! Said it was suppose to be in it’s aquarium.
Then I get 2 more calls wanting to see this house. Called the agent and told him, I’m not showing it if that thing is in the house. He didn’t think it was a big deal and couldn’t get the owner to remove it for the showings. My buyers said no problem, forget it, we moved on.
I had a very similar experience; only there were 3 snakes. I was showing a foreclosed property and as I was walking through the house with my Clients, I opened one of the doors and 3 snakes did their little dance towards us.
I jumped so high, that I could have made any of the NBA teams proud to have me!
Needless to say, I did not write an offer on this home.
When I read some of your experiences with animals, I have had a few myself. However, I have encountered overly friendly pets. I was on a Listing appointment a few years ago and the owner told me that his Rottweiler was not very friendly but would not hurt me. I beg to differ…that dog followed me throughout the entire house and proceeded to fall asleep on my foot while I was sitting in the family room going over the paperwork. He was like dead weight trying to casually remove his headrest and my suede boots acquired a beautiful slobber stain as a new accent. I’ve also gone into homes where the owners will tell me that they have cats but I won’t see them because they hide whenever they have company. Again, they don’t have their facts straight…I have had cats jump on the table while I am sitting with the owners and purr while they “make their mark” on my paperwork and my person…sometimes they even jump on my lap. I really don’t mind but find it quite amusing. The only time I have ever been really uncomfortable was when I was on a listing appointment where there were many pet snakes. I saw that there were many cages so I was ok until the owner asked if I would like to MEET Lois…His 7 ft. python. I knew if I declined, I may reduce my chances of getting the listing but I thought, “Who cares?!” After listing the house, I had the ‘pleasure of meeting Lois while she was in her en-caged area…The owner told me that Lois likes to STRETCH out in the bed while she is reading! I kept thinking of a National Geographic segment that informed the audience that pythons like to measure their prey. Stretch, measure, whatever.
….and life threatening situations like this are why real estate agents should have the right to legally carry a firearm (regardless of the state in which they practice) if they so choose to take advantage of their 2nd Amendment rights. Luckily you were not harmed.
Sometimes it helps to tell myself, “A missed opportunity can be a blessing in disguise…”
So true!! I’m an agent. My fiance and I made an offer on a house. Kept getting countered. We had a limit but finally caved and went up in price 4 times until we hit his last counter. Then when it was presented to him by his agent, he decides to up it another $5000!! That’s when you just say “thank you very much, but I think there are a few hundred other homes out there to buy”! BTW, the house in question has only been on the market over 400 days. Something wrong here–DO YOU THINK?? Anyway I totally agree with Carla, I think it was a blessing in disguise.
Thanks Carla!
Best Regards,
Vicki Graham
Amen..
Three words: Buyer’s Representation Agreement.
I second that statement!
Ahhh….but thanks to litigation and gray areas even THAT doesn’t mean much now…
It means nothing. A buyer is not obligated to purchase a house from you. Any agent can show the buyer the same exact house and put in an offer. Don’t be surprised most agencies will not fight your legal battle.
It means at the very least whatever the buyer and you agree and believe it to mean. There are many contracts that when tested don’t hold up to legal scrutiny, but if you explain the terms of your being hired and ask a buyer to take the extra step to sign as much saying so, you are more professional than someone who is unwilling to ask a buyer to commit for fear of losing them. Many of us collect non-refundable retainer fees upfront before showing property (I have never had someone walk away for this). The strength of your character and presentations will not only get people sign contracts, but add value to the job they are hiring you for and cause them to stick with you way beyond the transaction. Don’t be afraid ask people for commitment and be willing to teach them through good questions what commitment means and I guarantee you they will know what to do when they walk into an open house and are met with a competing agent.
This has happened to me several times. I expaine to my clients that they are to give the agent my business card and make sure the agent knows they have an agent. However my clients tell me that the listing agent or showing agent has promised them a better deal and can save them money since they know the sellers! I find out a day or two later, after they signed a contract right on the spot at the listing! I did not sya anythingbefore, but now I go after the agents.
In the buyers aget agreement, I put $500 service fee if they change their mind in buying or go with another agent. This helps weed out the unloyal clients and “just shopping around” clients — and has saved me alot of time, time that I could spend on my more serious, loyal, with agreement clients and kept my attitude positive to the next buyers. It’s not about working alot or hard, but smart.
That’s very smart to include a $500 service fee if they change their mind….I got bit hard by an ungracious couple that I had worked with for an entire year showing them properties and spending a lot of time on research & e-mails to keep them up on the market in the Northwest while they were trying to sell their home in Oregon. One day, the phone rang to hear from another local real estate agent, “MY CLIENTS WANT YOU TO STOP E-MAILING THEM. I HAVE SOLD THEM A HOUSE A WEEK AGO”. These clients never had the decency to even call or e-mail me that they had decided to work with another agent. And to make matters worse, they bought a home in my neighborhood!
That’s why I can only be an investor in this business. I tried the sales side a couple of times, but agents get treated badly much of the time. Clients think your only value is to drive them around.
And 99% of sellers don’t listen to your seasoned advice on how to get their home sold. Then, they sign up with another agent, do all the things you originally told them to do, sell the house, and the new listing agent gets all the credit (and commission).
I have nothing but respect for those agents who make a living selling real estate!
I was a new agent with my first Real Estate Company which I chose with care. I had my license for a month before deciding which company to go with. After i hung my license with this well know company I had to agree to a mentor for my first 4 contracts. Since I had a background in business law and workded for Real Estate Attorneys for a couple of years, I felt that only 2 contracts were necessary. After the mentor agreed I got busy showing property to buyers. Time to write the offer on a great home for two brothers. They came in and I had the contract ready to sign. Mentor comes in to see how things going, looks over the contract and start to demand that the buyers make a larger offer as they never would get the home at this reduclious price. It was not a lowball offer, just less than the list price. Buyers get up and thank me for the ahrd work but was no longer interested in the home. I not only lost the contact but the buyers as well. I was shocked at his unethical behavior toward clients.
I just got out of hospital with gallbladder surgery. Took a pain pill and got into bed when my phone rang. It was a relative of a client that wanted me to sell his home and the neighbor wanted to buy it. I needed to come as soon as possibe as the neighbor was going on a trip and wanted to sign a contract that same day! So I get up dress go to office get a contract for both sides and it’s completed in 3 hours including a walk through the home and yard with the owner.
Turned in the completed contracts and the mentor had the gall the tell me they were considered 1 contract and wanted 30% comission from both sides. I had already completed one listing with him and had to do one buyer”s side. I went to my broker and asked if you have both buyer and seller is it one contract or two. She said two. So I sent an email to said mentor explaing we had a contract to do one listing and one buyers contract and since I have done this our contract was now completed. However, the second listing was not part of our contract and therefore he would not get any comission from it. heard his discussing it a couple of day later with Broker and she said “Had I know it was you that was her mentor I would have told her diffrently!” Needlesy to say I walked out and let them know I overheard them right then and there. I left the office and just chose the first office closest to my home and have been happy since…
Dona, good for you for leaving that company. That so-called mentor needs to learn how to encourage new agents NOT discourage them.
OK I am very appalled at your situiation as It seems to me that everyone in that office from the top down has some shady character issues. All rules and regs in any company should be across the board and no one should get special treatment illrequardless of how much money they bring to the table. Sounds to me like you knew axactly what you were doing and was doing it well. I truly dont believe that companies should require that u have a mentor unless u request one. And If requested I think you should be able to pick and choose if there are issues with the one you are assigned.
IM JUST SAYING!!!!! Congrats on the new company!!!
I agree, no one should force you to have a mentor! When I left a poorly run mentoring program for Re/Max six years ago I struggled for awhile but joined a coaching programand have been happy ever since. I get much more commission and choose who will give me guidance and support plus I am part of a wonderful real estate community of people who are not my competitors.
Hope you can spell better than shown here.
Although it’s true that I often see misspelled words in listings and other realtor communications, I’m not seeing the value of disparaging a fellow realtor in this forum. I hope you can be nicer to people than shown here. This business is tough enough.
Not nice Mary……we all work hard and typo’s are common place in a little old on line post…..get over it.
I too was forced into a “mentor” situation for a company that had recruited me. I was new to the business and very anxious to get started. I listed my now husband’s home and several months later went on my honeymoon to CA. I called the mentor and said I was receiving calls regarding his home and asked him to follow up on the calls as I was out of state on MY HONEYMOON with the SELLER. His response: it’s not my sale, should have put something in writing that I would split the sale with him if it sold while I was gone! Needless to say…..took the listing with me to new office, sold the house and the so called MENTOR received zilch…..exactally what he earned!
Ken, I’ve been there as well. Unfortunately, my buyer client was a family member! Ouch.
Well, I fell into a pool while showing a house in the dead of winter. This was in front of my client, and another agent and her clients. It was cold, and very funny… I stay far away from pools now. I live down South of Texas, and pools are very common. Everyone I see reminds me of that day..O’ I also have been in homes that smell so bad I have thrown up in front of my clients.. This is not good, because it starts a chain reaction of throw up..
That is too funny (and gross), but funny!
Yes well try 5 years~ It is a bit hard to walk away. I have worked for several clients for 2months to 5 years. These type of clients think you are helping them… even though they do go with an agent that does not represent them well,(even though they thihk so). I have walked away and with that I knew my.. clients paid way to much for the property and in two years were in a short sell situation. I don’t wish ill will per say but the say what comes around goes around is so TRUE. I wish some of these buyers and sellers would respect the fact it is a lot of work to educate them on the price, schools, and areas than when they think they have it go use another agent that will offer them more on closing costs, etc. It is work not, oh thank you for your HELP. Than the added bonus the add a blog stating how wonderful their agent was that basically just submitted the offer. Not cool it is not just a tough market it has bread a new type of bad behavior all around.
How about when you have two broker open houses the same day go to supermarket to pick up your snacks and refreshments, then to find out you locked yourself out the car.
Ken,
My strategy is not to use a ‘Buyer Representation Agreement’, it is to explain to (only some specific clients) buyer that they are welcome to leave my service any time without telling me. Moreover, they can go ahead and go with the listing agent anytime.
99% of the time, they ask me why would they go with the listing agent. Then I tell them the advantages. While they have my attention, I also tell them the disadvantages. That is very fair, it is not worthy to buy house without a true protector (buyer agent).
Ken,
My strategy is not to use a ‘Buyer Representation Agreement’, it is to explain to (only some specific clients) buyer that they are welcome to leave my service any time without telling me. Moreover, they can go ahead and go with the listing agent anytime.
99% of the time, they ask me why would they go with the listing agent. Then I tell them the advantages. While I have their attention, I also tell them the disadvantages. That is very fair, it is not worthy to buy house without a true protector (buyer agent).
Ken,
My strategy is not to use a ‘Buyer Representation Agreement’, it is to explain to (only some specific clients) buyers that they are welcome to leave my service any time without telling me. Moreover, they can go ahead and go with the listing agent anytime.
99% of the time, they ask me why would they go with the listing agent. Then I tell them the advantages. While I have their attention, I also tell them the disadvantages. That is very fair, it is not worthy to buy house without a true protector (buyer agent).
This works for me.
Weeks? How about years!!!! Yes, it does happen up here in the Catskills, but every now and then, the trigger is pulled and they buy. It can be SO frustrating but the plus side is that I try not to work with folks I don’t like…. they become friends and then the referrals come in. That’s a part of what makes this business good. There has to be some of that otherwise we would all go nuts!!!
I have to agree, this happens a lot! Sometimes it is hard to tell if your client is going to be loyal. Most people think realtors make a ton of money so they feel it is no big deal to let you burn a ton of gas driving them around day after day, week after week, not to mention all the valuable time you wasted. They don’t know about all the different due’s that we have to come up with every year, marketing materials, signs, lock box’s, etc. They hear 3% commission and they assume you get it all. By the time you split with your broker and put a chunk away for Uncle Sam…it is not all that much, especially when you think of all the time it took to sell the property or have buyers that try over and over again on short sales. It takes a lot of HARD work to be a successful realtor!
Need to get clients to sign that Buyers Rep agreement and that way you are insured.
I’ve often said REALTORS should get together and write a book as we have so many “adventures.” One in particular was when our group of agents were touring a new listing. Upon opening the front door, directly in our path was a large tank wherein resided a equally large alligator. The ‘gater commenced to open his mouth wide and hiss very loudly at us. Picture a elderly real estate agent running screaming from the house, diving into a car, locking the door and peeking out of the window. My guess is that she was just as afraid of alligaters as she was of dogs.
I can definitely say I have never encountered an alligator in my showings, or showing instructions. WOW. Tops on the list of items to remove before putting your house on the market- alligators!
There is a book…”101 Greatest Real Estate Stories Ever Told” by Donald Gorbach. I bought it and it is very funny and a wonderful read when I have had a day, like all of us, when you wonder why on earth you sell real estate for a living. I have been doing this for 33 years and I ask myself this question a lot more than I used to, but I still love this crazy business and just renewed my license for three more years.
I totally agree Colleen. I’d buy that book in a heart beat.
I did a blog post on the perception vs. reality of an agent. It’s crazy what people think, and what the truth is.
Corri, I also did an article about perception vs reality for not only the RE agent but for sellers whose perception needs a reality check!
When I first moved to Florida I worked as a buyer’s agent in a buyer’s agency. One of my very first clients was a business man from Ohio and he had very specific wants and needs. We went out for days. He would come into town and I would show him a lot of houses.
One day he came into town with his wife. We finally found a development they really liked. In the car on the way back to my office I was talking with his wife who was sitting in the front seat as I drove. Dave’s cell phone rang. I am extremely talented when it comes to multi-listening and conversing. As I listened to his wife, I also heard him say “so if I say I am not working with a real estate agent, I can have a free golf club membership.”
I pulled over onto the grass of the highway. I put the car in park and I said “The ONLY reason I am not demanding that you leave my car right here, right now is because your wife is with you and I wouldn’t do that to her. I turned off the ignition, got out, and called my broker immediately. She called the real estate division of the builder. The agent on the other end was fired. I could see and hear my (former) buyers arguing – she gave her husband all kinds of hell.
I drove them back to my office, my broker was standing in the parking lot and we both wished them good luck and goodbye.
Many years ago, well before cell phones, a builder friend of mine taught me to always keep a quarter in my pocket for that type of buyer. Why? So I could give it to the prospect and tell him to call somebody who gives a damn! Boy that feels good!!!
I did it to a flakey buyer recently. Left him standing in the middle of a vacant lot while I drove away. For all I know, he’s still there…
To my eye’s dissatisfaction, I’ve seen a naked man in a listing. My clients and I where shocked after calling (receiving no word against our morning showing), knocking on the door, announcing “real estate agent” upon entering the home, and being inside for nearly 15 minutes a naked man went flying from the bathroom, past the stairs, and inside a bedroom. Other stories could lead into the interior condition of listings, as in needing a shower afterwards or a new pair of boots.
Toby,
I have seen naked people as well. There should be a special certificate or designation for those of us who have suffered through that kind of showing!
Well a least it wasnt dead people. Havent come across that yet, but have worried about it when the house is real smelly…
I was leading my office on a tour of my new listing during caravan. My clients mother was laying on the couch. She didn’t move as we walked in. One agent went over and said, “I think she is dead.”…..SHE WAS. Had to call the police, and then my client to ask him to rush home. It was a horrible day!
Carolyn,
I was showing one of my own listings a number of years back. The house was vacant (or so I thought). We went in and found a pile of clothes in the hallway. Turns out it was a dead homeless guy.
After dealing with the police, etc. my buyer said that, although she liked the house, it was too “cluttered”
Hey, the funniest one was realtor taking pictures of her own house for listing and forgot she was topless when she took pictures of the bathroom her reflection showed in the mirror!!!
I guess that he forgot that you have an appointment to show their house to a client.
I would make sure that sellers should announce to everybody in the household if there is a showing of their house.
Yes, have had the naked encounter, the newly started federal investigation for identity theft, the five very neatly deposited piles of ‘poop’ left by a family who lost their home……but in almost 25 years working a job with no two days the same, I am happy to have different experiences. (Maybe not so much for my buyers!)
A job that keeps me on my toes and always learning. I still love it!
I’ve been in this business long enought to fill this blog with stories, but here is one I will not forget. Negotiating a Short-Sale on a Million+ luxury home. Seller was in the process of divorce, husband had already moved out. Received a cash offer from buyer being represented by another agent. After 6 months of negotiating with 2 lenders (Chase/PNC) was able to get close to a number. During this time, the wife(owner) leased the property to the buyers without telling the Ex. Well the Ex found out. During this time the property was in disrepair and not well maintained. After the Buyer/tenant moved in, they immediated cleaned up the property. Well the lenders sent an agent to verify the condition, and the “new” condition almost killed the deal. We finally came to a number everyone would agree to, and the sellers Ex decides to extort $30,000 from the rich cash buyer or not sign the sale documents. Well, the sale did close, but nearly killed me with the stress of dealing with 2 sellers, and foreign buyer.
Several months ago I was showing property in a rural area. Following showing protocol, I made my showing appointment and had it confirmed that it was okay to show this property. Upon arriving to the property I notice a car in the driveway. Suspecting that someone might be home I rang the doorbell several times and made a lot of noise when entering the property. No one came to the door, and the house was completely quiet. Upon entering one of the bedrooms my buyer/client notices that there is an older woman in the bed. I repeatedly call out to her with no response. I fear the worst… that she is not alive. I ask my clients to step out on the porch while I call 911. Within minutes the volunteer fire department, paramedics, and sheriff’s department show up. There are approximately 15 vehicles on a 2 mile long single lane dirt “driveway”. The paramedics go inside the home and start working on this woman. Apparently she wasn’t deceased at all… just highly intoxicated by some unknown substance. She regains consciousness and jumps up, grabs her gun and states she is going to shoot all of us for trespassing on her property. Firemen, paramedics, and the sheriff’s department all scatter and jump into their emergency vehicles in an attempt to get away. Remember that one lane dirt driveway? I am at the front of the driveway – right next to the front porch, blocked in by all those large emergency vehicles. It took forever for them to get the vehicles turned around on that one lane drive. I thought I was never going to get out of there (alive)! I actually have a photo of my car stuck in front of all those emergency vehicles with their lights flashing. Hate I can’t post it! It was nervewracking when it happened, but now I can’t think about the experience without laughing out loud and shaking my head in disbelief.
Oh, and what a book it would be! Nobody would believe it of course. Every agent I know has a naked person story – me included. How about guns sitting out? The porn covered basement? Or the person who just went out the back door as we came in the front? Who was that? All true of course, all true!
I will love to encounter some crazyness.
I work as a single agent in Jacksonville Florida. Thankfully I have not seen any naked people while showing homes yet! I have however walked in on several squatters. That is pretty scary when you have a family trailing into a home with their young children. Now I always knock and ring the bell even on vacant properties.
I have a client that buys property at foreclosure auction. He arrived at a property he bought in a resort community and posted a notice on the door. It obviously still had the previous owners things in it, but no permanent occupants. A few hours later one of the owners called him, asking why he had posted a notice on the door, having no knowledge that her house had been in foreclosure. It seems her husband was in charge of paying the bills. He was a doctor and she was a nurse. It ended up that her parents bought the house back from us for her.
I’ve often thought of writing a book as well. The first year I was in real estate, I had a listing where the man had just been moved into a nursing home. His lady friend showed me the house. There were rattle snakes in jars and other critters I couldn’t identify. Needless to say I was totally creeped out. At my first showing of the property (in creepy mode) I forewarned the customer of the pickled home decor and he was prepared, and appeared to be more entertained than afraid. The showing was going well until I pulled back the shower curtain and there was a LIVE snake in the bath tub! I ran, he laughed and got the 8″ garter snake out of the tub and released it into the wild. He then made an offer on the property! Explaining all this to my seasoned Broker, at the time, he also laughed, and told me that was just my first story. He said, I would have fleas, rats, crazy people and more to deal with. He was right. After 6 years in the business I have encountered all those and more! Never a dull moment in this business!
Oh, my, the stories! Several instances of people being in vacant, foreclosed houses. I’ve learned to trust my instincts there – if it “feels” wrong (once or twice a year), I don’t go inside. No commission is worth encountering a crazy squatter. I’ve shown piles of poo, lots of bugs, rotting food. The seller clients (in a very presitgious neighborhood) who refuse to leave because they have too many prescription drugs and guns on the property.
But the story I love to tell is of the lady who wanted the impossible. She wanted a 130,000 property for no more than 60,000, in 2006. My first year full time in real estate, and she wanted me to show properties on mothers day weekend. I agreed. I actually found ONE property that fit all her requests, listed Thursday evening. I knew it’d be gone by Monday and told her so. There were three other couples looking at it when we went that Saturday. The former owners had died the carpet in one bedroom a garnet color, and walked across the dye and down the hallway barefoot before it dried – leaving what looked like “bloody footprints.” The buyer became convinced the place was haunted by a person who MUST have died there, and wanted no part of it. AGHHHHH!!! We never did find her a house…
I once called an owner to preview a home, and he warned me, “A big friendly dog will greet you at the door, but whatever you do, don’t let the Jack Russell out of his cage!”
So I call out to the big dog to let him know that I am coming in, open the door, and a very large pit bull/rottweiler cross greeted me there. When I headed for the stair he slowly reached out and takes my hand in his jaw and leads me to the kitchen, where the Jack Russell loudly demanded to be released. I gave them both a treat from the tray of them and headed for the staircase, leaving the Jack Russell in jail. The pit/rotty saw where I was going and took off like a shot for the upstairs. I got up there and he is proudly looking in at the hall bath. I look in and he takes off for the master suite, I get there and he is looking at the master bath. Every place a Realtor had stopped, he pointed out to me, from closets to bathrooms to the swingset in the back yard.
These guys were much more fun than the naked people I have encountered, or the 2400 square feet of dog poop I carefully tiptoed through with buyers that were ‘looking for a good deal’ or the the house that was infested with voracious fleas, or the care giver wearing a football helmet that greeted me with a baseball bat in hand…
Mark, what a great story about the dog-escorted preview you had — I loved it!!! Thanks for sharing, I just wish you had expounded a bit on the caregiver wearing the football helmet carrying a baseball bat…OMG!! LOL!
How true that we can all relate to some of these stories! I had some relocating buyers that were looking over a Memorial holiday weekend and requested a showing on Memorial Day. I couldn’t believe the showing wasn’t declined for this wonderful lake front property so we showed up as scheduled. Much to our entertainment, we found a party at the home and a pool full of scantily clad and some naked party goers. The owner of the home simply approached us and asked, “What would you like to drink?” Gotta say, we stayed for a beer!
There are dangers in our business as well. Many years ago now I was showing some friends property. It was at the end of the day and by the time we got to the last house it was beginning to get dark. It was new construction and they wanted to see it anyway even though it was at dusk. Upon entering I tried the lights and none came on. I thought this was odd but we proceeded to ramble around the house in the dark. The home was a contemporary and the back of the house was glass and it was a full moon so there was some light from the moon. While back in one of the bedrooms where it was pretty dark they asked if the house had a basement. I said I would look and maybe if I got in the living room with moonlight I could read the data sheet. I walked back through the house by myself talking to myself. I couldnt read the sheet so I started opening doors while talking out loud. I got to a door that I assumed was the garage and said out loud “I think this is the garage”. When I opened the door it was totally black, no windows, no light. But I could smell some terrible body odor and I knew someone was standing either behind the door or just to the left. I closed and locked the door immediately and starting yelling for my clients to get out of the house. The complied and I hurriedly shut the front door and began to lock it. Through the side window I could see through the house to the glass wall in the back where I saw a man running through the back yard. My client (friend) went around to the side of the house and found the garage side door open. I immediately called the listing agent to inform her that someone had been camping out in the garage. She thanked me but was alarmed because she had had an uncomfortable incident an hour or so earlier at that house. She had gotten a call from a potential buyer for that house earlier that day that wanted to meet her at the house. She said she felt uneasy about that buyer but went to the house anyway. She told her husband if she wasn’t back in an hour to come look for her. When she got to the house she did not go inside but waited out in her car. She waited for 1/2 hour and no one showed up so she left and went home. She called all the phone numbers the man had left her and all were bogus numbers. Shortly after that I called to tell her about the man in the garage. Incidentally, the electricity was on. The intruder had turned the power off at the panel box in the garage. Thank God she didn’t go in and I went with two other people. Otherwise, we may have walked in on a tragedy. We can never be too careful in our occupation.
I had a German client that wanted to buy a luxurious hotel on Miami Beach. I showed him one that had a $26 million price tag. On that day, I had excruciating ruptured disc related back pain, and yet I toughed through a 3 plus hour physical inspection of every room the manager was kind enough to show us, the laundry facilities, back of the house, even walking the garage level by level. I was miserable.
So, finally, we are on the way back to the office, and I’m thinking we will be writing an offer because he loved the property so much. Jokingly, I asked, “So, what do you think?” already certain that I knew the answer. I almost went to jail that day for murder when he responded, “Wrong location.”
I remember when I first started in this business. Sitting in the classroom thinking of all the money I would make… how easy it would be. Didn’t take long to erase that from my mind. The commission on some sales are nice but people do not realize the amount of buyers we talk to getting there and how many showings we have that do not pan out. I recently had a buyer that acted surprised that I asked for a buyers agreement to show him more properties. I didn’t push the matter and showed a few more homes. We found the home he wanted and were set to meet the next day to make an offer. Well, turns out he had a part time realtor friend(2-4 small sales a year) who he wanted to help out and buy a home with. He said that he would have used her to show the homes but she had to work on the days he could go see them. He didn’t seem to understand why I was so upset… Like its my job to drive him around for free all day.
And what about those security systems that someone forgot to disarm and up drives law enforcement–guns and all!!
I will never forget the time I went to gather information on a property for a CMA. When I arrived at the house, the man that answered was neat with every hair in place, khakis pressed as well as his polo golf shirt. The house was the same, impeccable. As I walked through the house taking notes and making small conversation, I quickly realized this guy was not for small talk.. I was shocked when I walked into his bedroom with about 25-30 guns leaning against the wall out of their cases and one on a tripod with a scope that pointed out the window directly across the river to the bridge. I was speechless, the it gets better..I walk downstairs to the lower level and there is a human target, chest up with 4 or 5 bullet holes right in the forhead, I asked “are you a police officer?” a quip “No” was blurted out.. I said “I think I have all l need thanks. and with my hair standing up on the back of my neck, I jumped in the car and took off as I looked back, he was standing in the window with the curtains pulled back just slightly watching me drive away…creepy
I had a client that wanted it a 5 acre or more in a certain area where most of the properties are like that. When we arrived to the first house a car was in the parking lot, I though there was someone in there, after knocking on the door and no response we entered the house to find a fully furnished place with some items scattered around the house, breakfast dishes on the dinner table, rotten food in the fridge, it was like if someone had just left (of course 6 months ago) and when we entered the garage oh surprise it was a complete marihuana lab without the plants! of course the did not like the house.
A few years ago I took out a buyer a referral from his son. He was renting in Florida and wanted to buy. He was a bird watcher and he wanted a lake so he could observe the birds. He felt I was not showing him what he wanted. He asked for me to come see the rental. I walked in to the rental and he was showing me around. He had a large dog that was excited to see us. I walked into the bedroom where there was a pair of dirty men’s underwear laying on the ground. The dog proceeded to pick them up, come to me, and try to engage me in a game of tug of war.Really? Without skipping a beat the man just took the underwear from him and neither of us said a word about it! Needless to say he walked into a builders office (they were not cooperating at the time) and bought a brand new home for more than he told me he was willing to spend. UGH.
While licensed in Colorado, I went on a listing appointment for a modest 3 bed/2 bath home with 6 children living there. After viewing the home and the basement which the father was just finishing, the husband and I sat down at the kitchen table where the wife was cleaning up the lunch dishes. The husband asked “So, what would you suggest now that you’ve seen the house?” “Well.” I respond “the number one issue every home has when placing it on the market is clutter.” WRONG WORD!!! The wife whipped around, threw her dirty dish rag at me and screamed at me that if I wanted to clean up her house, I was welcome to but she wasn’t touching a thing! I tried to explain what I meant like knick-knacks to no avail. I quickly excused myself and, of course, didn’t get the listing. That’s OK. I have a feeling everything works out for the best.
I have only been an active agent for a little over a year. So far, my most memorable stories are the marijuana “roach” under my feet while on a showing and the closing that was scheduled for last Friday on a property that has been difficult, to say the least, from the start and a miracle if it ever sees the closing table… a tornado hit the house last Thursday…. UGH!
So my best war story ever is the time when a buyer stood us up at the closing table. My partner had completed the walk through of the condo with him an hour before the closing and he didn’t show up at the closing. The sellers were very upset and we had no explanation of what happened. We could not understand why he had been willing to close an hour before and then we could not even get him to return a phone call. Well a couple of days later we found out what happened when it was all over the news. It turned out our buyer had been running a prostitution ring from his “salon” down the street from the condo and when he found out the law was catching up with him, he fled the country! Seems he was planning to use the fully furnished condo for his clients. WHAT? I don’t think our out of town sellers would have believed us if we hadn’t sent them the news articles.
Good one Jen! Miss you !
I was thankful for the newspaper as well to explain to the seller’s of a listing I had that the buyer, who I also brought to the transaction had gone to jail, the day before the closing. His downpayment belonged to the company he use to work for! Ahh the fun of this business……and the stories I get to tell my family that they often can hardly believe.
How was I to recognize the danger signs of a fire ant hill? I was a Chicago Realtor, just newly licensed in Florida. I walked my customer across the lawn and out to the dock of a very upscale waterfront house in Tampa when little black somethings suddenly covered my feet and raced upward. My legs felt on fire. I ran across the yard, threw open the pool cage door and jumped in the pool. But that didn’t discourage the fire ants. It just made them angrier. I swam on until I was in the deepest part of the pool. There I was, in an absolutely beautiful setting, treading water, my formerly lovely skirt threatening to sink me while I wiggled out of my fire ants covered panty hose.
Oh this one made me laugh out loud, thanks Libby!
I was staging an open house at another agent’s bank owned listing. It was slow so I was sitting at the kitchen snack bar writing in my planner when a bug jumped onto my arm. I first thought it was a flea but upon closer inspection discovered that it was a bed bug!!! I had visions of me carrying a colony of them home after latching onto me in that house! I immediately went outside and brushed myself off. I then stood in the driveway and made calls to my clients (time management!) while being creeped out the whole time. It was 95 degrees but I was not going back into that house even though it was air conditioned and plenty cool. And no one even showed up for the open house- which I considered a blessing. Yes, it is indeed a glamorous life in real estate!
Had a buyer that I worked with for 4 years – almost to the day, who finally bought a home for $81,000. I’m not sure how much an hour that works out too, but not much! At least I’m an unofficial family member now…
That reminds me of the scene in “Napoleon Dynamite” where he was working on a chicken farm for hours and they paid him with a jar of coins..and he said something like, “that’s like fifty cents an hour.”
Amy Underwood
Realtor
Better Homes and Gardens
Davis Winans and Associates
I know exactly how you feel. Working with buyers for a VERY LONG TIME. After 3 years- tons of lost weekends , lost family time.They buy nothing or they buy a condo for $100,000 short sale.The offering is discounted and you promised the buyer no extra out of pocket expenses for them.
I spent more in gas than what I made. We live and learn and learn to walk away fast the next time.
Same for listings without a written price change agreement schedule. I spent more in advertising than I made when it finally closed.
30 plus years in the business I have seen some strange things. I recently had a listing in Colorado (where medicinal marijuana is legal) where every room in the house was full of marijuana plants. The tenants were within their legal right to grow the marijuana and did not hesitate to let prospective buyers in the house. I felt very strange telling other agents about the decor. I could not get the house sold however until the tenants and their “furniture” were gone. We had to repaint and re-carpet to get the smell out.
I have many stories about naked people, dog poop,dead people etc.
My latest irritation is people who use my website to do their research. They tell me how my website is the best in my area in the same breath with “I have a Realtor” I have a VOW site that requires sign up and a password. I can prevent them from using my site. I thought long and hard and felt guilty for cutting their access off….for about a SECOND. I checked out their Realtors site…it was a page on their big box brokers website. No wonder they were using mine. I know it is petty but I spend lots of time and money on my internet presence and when I can I cut them off. I get a little satisfaction but a lot of guilt.
I had a listing for a little old single lady of 70 something. We had her home on the market for several weeks when I decided to go by and check on my supply of flyers. She saw me and asked me in the home as she had a problem. Her granson moved in and turned her basement in to a grow house! She wanted to know if it was ok? The home did not sell due to the overpowerful smell of the plants. However she left the home and moved to Washington State. The police made a bust and the home whent to forclosure
Hi, I can share a recent glam story. Just last week I reluctantly spent an entire day in our local district court because I was subpoenaed by a former client, (the only client I have ever had to “fire”-but that’s another story) What was I there for? I listed a lot in 2009 that had firewood stacked on it. Now, in 2011, the firewood is gone. The accused was the tenant next door. All I knew is that it was there in “09. And for that I sat in court all day. A glamorous day, I might add.
Outrageous!
I walked in to what was suppose to be an empty house, haven’t we all? Apparently, the owner didn’t make it clear to her 14 year old son that prospective buyers would be there, or that he should not be naked and participating in adult activities with his male friend.
As you can imagine my mom voice went into overdrive as I demanded he put his clothes on and call his mother to tell her before I did!
Thankfully, I do a quick walk through before the clients get there!
Ha ha ha Being a mom of 6, a grandmother of 18 … I would have done the same… that’s funny!
I loved all the stories above. I have so many after 33 years, but here are a couple that definitely stand out: the full length male nude frontal poster inside the closet door of the listing that I was getting…..or the snakes that totally filled every room’s closet and boxes of a house that they wanted me to list ( I refused that one but a real estate agent actually bought it and still lives there)…..or the young couple making love when I opened the bedroom door and they didn’t even live there…..or having my buyers help me open a lock with my credit card because the key that the listing agent had given to me did not work, only to discover that I was inside the wrong house anyway…..or the client that freaked me out so much that I called my good friend, an ex-NYC cop who always carries a gun, to go with me on the showings that morning and at the second house the freaky buyer saw my friend’s gun under his jacket while he was crawling into the back seat of my Riviera and that buyer wanted out of my car so fast at the next stop he never stopped running until he was two blocks away (I bet he doesn’t try that trick again)…..and a hundred more. These stories are cute…NOW!!! They weren’t cute at the time.
They can be very scary and in today’s mode…..pay attention to your red flags.
We are the only people that work for free with a hope that one day, maybe one day we might or might not get paid.
Natalie Arndt BS MA
“Doctor’s wife on call for all of your real estate needs!”
RE/MAX PREMIERE REALTORS
3701 San Mateo Blvd NE
Albuquerque NM 87110
cell 505 615-0158
work 505 237-9750
I’m loving all the stories, so I’ve got to add my 2 cents worth! I was showing another company’s Listing and the home was a disaster….but the Seller was worse, God love her. The king-sized MBR mattress was in the middle of the Living Room floor, one bathroom was decorated in poop brown, commode, sink, and all. The other bath was all pink! The proud Seller proceeded to show us how the front yard held standing water all year long, even in January, and wasn’t that a blessing?! We were horrified and trying to make a graceful exit from the home when the Seller asks my Buyer’s names. They humored her, realizing her elevator didn’t go all the way to the top floor. The Seller walks over to one of my clients, who is seriously overweight, and proceeds to walk her out to the car. She begins to rub the Buyer’s back, and I hear her ask my Buyer if she has ever considered Bariatric weight loss surgery! “You’ve got to get some of that weight off them little feet of yours!” she says. To my Buyer’s credit she doesn’t get angry, but proceeds to discuss the pro’s and con’s of Lap Band vs. stomach stapling with the Seller. I’m bringing up the rear, poking the other Buyer in the back and whispering “save yourself!” and “I’ll try to bring her back from the Dark side!”. Through a freezing drizzle, we try to escape to our vehicles away from this crazy! We finally pull away, drive about a half mile, and have to pull over because we’re laughing so hard we can’t drive. The Buyer’s have since become good friends of mine, and the memory always makes me smile!
Where do I start: my buyer who was attacked and bitten several times by a dog, which then came after me; watching the 11:00 pm news one night and seeing a former seller’s picture being arrested for murdering someone, wrapping the body in a rug and taking it out to the lake to set on fire; a listing so torn apart you can go from the 2nd floor to the basement with one unlucky step (I’d say that’s a fixer-upper); being trapped in a home with clients when the “friendly dog Roxie” who was a pit bull got between us and the door; and being called the day before closing to be notified that the buyer had died. And then there was the hysterical time I took a client through the home of a female impersonator who was out by the pool in his boy persona, the client looked at the gorgeous portrait over the mantle, in full wig and evening gown, and said “that must be his wife. I’ve always said being a real estate agent is like being a regular on Saturday Night Live. There are strange and wonderful things happening all the time.
You know that weird feeling you get like someone’s watching you- Several years ago I was sitting an open house on another agent’s listing- and I got that funny feeling- then heard a noise- and walking across the back of the couch coming towards me was a lizzard about 3 feet long- left that open house fast.
JoEllen,
I had a showing on a home basically empty except for a few pieces of furniture in a two story. As I got to the middle bedroom upstairs I opened the door and found a darkly painted room. I immediately went for the curtains to get more light. Just as the light hit, I saw it! This huge reptile type lizard next to the wall right next to my foot! Alarmed I jumped but collected myself and thought no its a statue. But just as I thought of this the thing took a step towards me and hissed!! Not sure how I got downstairs but I did it so fast I don’t think my feet hit a step! My clients were ahead of me! Funny now but I almost had a heart attack!
I showed the personal home of a local builder years ago. I called the day before and let him know I would be arriving around noon with my clients. We showed up and found the front door unlocked. I entered and hollered I was there but no response. As I entered the master bedroom, the builder was laying on his bed stark naked and spread eagle! He had been asleep but couldn’t move as he had gone fishing that morning and had gotten an extreme sunburn and had come home, showered and went to bed. He forgot all about our appointment. Funny thing is my clients bought his home and to this day every time I see him he winks at me with the wildest of smiles!
Had the poop listing, worked with buyers for two years before they made a decision, had the listing that any moment you expected a call from the showing agent that they lost their buyer in the piles of trash or through the broken floor joists, or the call that they seller was dead (we are in Florida after all), even had squaters in a listing that had the seller arrested for telling them to get out of her home (she did so with a weapon), had the illegal drugs and/ or contraband on the coffee table while showing, walking equestrian properties and stepping in poop, a kid grabbing the electric fence at an eqestrian property and the naked bathroom scene so many of us have seen, but has anyone had their buyer drop pants and use the bathroom while you were showing the master bath and still standing there? That definetely has to make “The Book”.
I had a listing in a gated luxury home community with primarily second homes. My sellers lived out of state. Everytime we had a showing, I had to run through the 6000 square foot house to check for dead mice in the mouse traps. One day I found a live mouse stuck in the bathtub. The showing was in 10 minutes. I had no one to call, but had to figure out how to catch and dispose of itquickly. I found a cleaning bucket, caught the mouse and let him go in the yard. I called my clients and recommended they hire a pest control service as catching rodents was above and beyond the scope of marketing and selling their home. In the end, someone else was put in charge of pest control and I sold the home.
So many stories… so little time… I think my favorite is the night I took my first time homebuyers out to look at 8 properties. I was a novice at the time, so hadn’t prepared myself well. I realized at house #2 that I needed to use a restroom, but of course, ethics prohibit using sellers’ property. I toughed it out, rather proud of myself for being so committed to conducting business properly. As we approached house #7 in the dark, I slipped on some ice and crashed to the sidewalk. A little shaken (and grateful for a strong bladder), I got up, brushed myself off, and headed to unlock the front door. I opened the door, stepped in to turn on a light, and a HUGE snarling black cat literally jumped onto my head and and clung to my shoulders! I screamed, shoved the cat away, and calmly showed the house to my laughing clients. Let’s just say I was glad it was dark, and that I was wearing black pants and a long coat…
worked with a “flip” investor. listed and sold his (manufactured) home in less than 90 days. in a bad area, in a bad market- put $15k clear profit in his pocket (20 % cash on cash profit) and he fired me- said i “gave the house away”. whatever.
(I’m the Nancy Tallman from CA – hi to the ‘other’ Nancy from Utah!)
Years ago I represented buyers on a lovely upscale home. I scheduled our home inspection midweek with the wife/seller. Went into the home and the inspector got to work. I sat in kitchen while he proceeded. As scheduled, an hour or so later the buyers arrived. We all went upstairs and I opened the master bedroom door.
Opps – here was the naked husband in bed ……on top of another woman!
Yikes. I quickly shut the door as he hollered out “Hi, Nancy!”
We all rushed downstairs.
A few minutes later he came downstairs, dismissed his ‘guest,’ and told us to proceed with the inspection.
There is nowhere on a CA disclosure form that asks if the sale is part of a divorce.
There was one in this sale, but the listing agent hadn’t informed me of same and the wife wasn’t speaking to her soon to be X.
Fortunately the buyers still loved the house and the list of inspection items was all approved due to our uncomfortable encounter. Up until that point the sellers had been difficult, after that everything went smoothly. Actually, the wife was so happy we had ‘caught’ her husband, she gave me 2 antiques as a bonus for selling the property. LOL.
“EYE SPY”
I recently had a seller call me after a showing and tell me just how much the buyers loved the home. Shocked, I said, “I thought I told you to never stay for a showing”. He said, “Oh, We didn’t. We just set up a video camera on a shelf in the kitchen and watched it after they left”! That sure made me 2nd guess what I say in and about peoples homes when showing.
“Git’ yo’ tail off my property (that happens to be for sale)”
Also, I just sold a listing where the seller was VERY VERY parianoid. The home was on a very busy street out in the country on the way to the lake. We had a big banner on the house. The owner was hiding from creditors so the home always appeared to be vacant. People constantly would drive up to the home and walked around the property. The owner did not like that and assumed each of these people were a threat so I kept getting calls from ticked off potential buyers letting me know he was pointing his gun out the window at them and runnning them off his land.
Luckily I’ve had no dead bodies, only two times with people home and still in bed for the showings, and one “poop” house. No gators or snakes or weapons.
However, I did have a “left in the lurch” scenario – my buyer went to contract on a high-end home & we quickly scheduled and proceeded with the home inspection. He kept “forgetting” his checkbook so even by home inspection time, I had no earnest money. All the while I was having trouble getting confirmation of loan approval – he said he had it, but the bank person kept giving me the run around. (It turned out he had no approval & the bank person wouldn’t say anything to me because of “confidentiality.”) However, the buyer did tell me that he changed his mind about financing & would go cash, but again, could not get him to provide me with proof of funds. But I did get the earnest money check, finally. Through all of that, the sellers & their agent were very patient & wonderful. About a after the home inspection, his pregnant girl friend (who was from out of state, had sold everything & moved in with him with her 2 children in a small rental apartment) came to see me alone to let me know she didn’t think everything was on the up & up. She called me the next night to inform me that while he was out of town that day & night for work, she snooped & found his SSN & bank info, called his bank & found he was overdrawn (earnest money check bounced), called the stores to inquire about the new furniture he had “ordered & paid for” over the phone in her presence, only to discover no furniture had actually been purchased. Her out of state auto tag had expired as he was going to buy her a new car so she had no legal way to drive her car. And, he had “borrowed” her child support money & left her with no funds or food. What a loser he was! And pathological liar. I offered to have her & the kids come stay with me while she made arrangements for travel, etc. But I never did hear back from her so I could only hope she made it back to her family.
The only other “disaster” was the young couple who would only be in town for 2 days. They were making an 18 hr drive each way. I canceled a trip to Florida (I live in TN), showed about 15 or so homes in 2 very full days with them, then over the following 2 days wrote an offer (which they signed when they got home), negotiated the counter-offer & came to a verbal agreement. I emailed them the seller’s written counter for their signatures. They called back & before they signed, wanted me to visit the home & take more detailed photos the next morning, which I agreed to do. One hour later, they called back & said they decided not to buy a house … at all … and were going to rent.
All in all, I have been blessed with a lot of great sellers & buyers during my 5 years doing this “job” I still love and enjoy!
Before starting a transaction coordinating company I was an active broker in Central FL. My most memorable experience was the buyer who was arrested the day before our closing. Sadly the downpayment he’d ammassed over the last year or so was stolen from his employer.
As a transaction coordinator for agents all over the Country, my team and I could write a book on just what we see and hear through our agents in a month, let alone our entire 6 year of this business.
A colleague of mine here in Austin work a great book full of wild and crazy real estate stories. It was a really easy and funny read, I highly recommend it:
Adventures In Real Estate: I’m Not Making This Up! by Lakki Keyser Brown
In light of these sad and sometimes tragic tales of our real estate follies lie stories with silver linings that brighten our days with hope and retribution. This is one of those stories:
I was a relatively new agent at the time, but doing a fair amount of business for a large local real estate company in San Diego, when I was given a relocation listing lead. The lead came with the instructions NOT to take the listing on the first visit, but to bond with the seller, get familiar with the property, and wait for the RELO company to call back after the seller had the opportunity to meet with two assigned agents.
I met with the seller’s and bonded extremely well. I had just finished with the appointment when the door bell rang; it was the second agent with a national brand-named firm assigned to meet with the sellers. While he looked familiar, I didn’t know his name until I saw it on his personalized licensed plate. He was a well known “mega-agent” that I had previously brought an offer to, who opened escrow w/o his seller’s signatures, stating they were out of town, only to find out three days into escrow that the listing had expired and the seller’s didn’t want anything more to do with him. Needless to say, my client’s (the buyers) were devastated, but found another. Fast forward…
A week later I received a call from the relocation company who instructed me to NOW go and compete for the listing. When I called the sellers to schedule the appointment, they said that they were going with the other (mega)agent. When I asked why they would do this without speaking with both first, they said that he told them he already had a buyer for the property on his first visit and there was no need to speak with anyone else.
Realizing immediately that he violated the terms of the relocation company, coupled with my past sour experience with him, immediately put me in a competitive mode. I told the seller that the agent violated the terms the relocation company set forth. I also told him if he asked me if I had knowledge of this agent being unethical in the past, I would have to answer in the affirmative, at which point, he asked if he could speak with his wife and get back to me. He called me back and asked if I could come and list the property the next day.
When I came to list the property, the seller told me that he had called the other (less ethical) (mega)agent to inform him of his decision to list with me, and received no fewer than (6) messages within (24) hours from the (mega)agent saying he would do whatever was necessary to get the listing, including cutting commissions and offering kickbacks.
Once we signed the listing agreement, the seller slipped me a piece of paper with a name and number on it. He said that it was a work-friend, who had been at the property before, who approached him that day saying he wanted to buy the property. I picked up the phone at the listing table and called the friend, who stated that he wanted to pay full price for the home and he was pre-approved to do so. We met later that day to write up the offer, which I brought back to the seller’s home with a bottle of champagne.
The house closed escrow, and I reported the other agent to the relocation company who put him on the “C” list. Twelve years later, I still hear of this agent’s unethical shenanigans and wonder why our industry tolerates this type of behavior.
I still smile when I think of the reward my clients and I received when we challenged the bad (mega)agent and won!
Wow! Do I feel lucky after reading these stories. I have shown several houses full of poop, and even had a listing to burn during the listing period. The funniest was the house which was infested with fleas. My buyer clients and I came out of the house covered! Now this house was in a popular location and was being offer at a good price, so in less than a week another buyer client wanted to see the house. The listing agent confirmed the house had been treated, so off we went. Unfortunately, fleas can be difficult to get rid of, so you guessed it, my clients and I came out covered in fleas again. I always try to look for the positive and in this case, I was glad it wasn’t my listing.
I’ve heard tell that agents have been bitten by dogs while showing a home. I was bitten by the owners dog at my own listing. It drew blood! The babysitting grandmother fell apart in tears. I thought she was going to have a stroke so I took care of her and let the blood trickle down my leg. The sellers never said a word but it closed and they moved. The End!
I have a many great stories and I have only been in the business for 3 years. It seems as though all of the unusual events happen to me, rather than my teammate, who has been in the business for over 10 years.
It was a hot summer day, averaging in the 90s and I was attending a home inspection with my buyer. The home inspection went quite well, along with all of the other inspections. As we were finishing up the septic inspection, the inspector wanted to get something off of his truck. He climbed up in the back, fiddle around with something and before I knew it, I heard a huge thud. As I looked over, the inspector was flat on his back, laying in the driveway. Apparently, when he was in the back of his truck, he misstepped and fell backwards off of his truck.
Now laying upside down in the middle of the driveway, blood began to pour from the back of his head. As I, the professional real estate agent, the one who is suppose to remain calm and keep harmony between all parties, started to have a spas attack. My buyer quickly rushed to him, along with the owner of the home who by this time had gotten a towel to place under his head in order to absorb some of the blood.
As I finally got my wits about me, I called 911, gave the location and patiently waited for the ambulance in the street. I made my way back to the inspector and asked him not to move, as if he were going to get up and do a dance. I tried to call his wife, daughter, son, mother, anyone I could find in his phone, but no one answered. I offered to accompany him to the hospital, but he quickly turned me down.
Needless to say, everything and everyone turned out fine. But the most horrifying point to the story, a couple of days later, I called the inspector to see how he was feeling, but to also inform him that I did really need the septic report in order to reply to the inspection contingency for my buyer. The things we do for our clients!
Oh the glamour of Real Estate Agents. Isn’t it why we all got into the business? The Mercedes convertibles and the catered open houses. The fancy suits and expensive shoes. Seriously?
One fun one I had was the chain smoking buyer who wanted to see every single property in his price range. He wanted to throw low-ball offers at three properties at one time but when I told him he needed to write the same deposit check for each of them, he realized he needed to do one at a time. He finally had an agreement with one and we got all the way to escrow. As we approached finance commitment, his mortgage broker began telling me that he was have difficulty getting him financed despite telling me earlier that he was well approved. Not knowing my client and the mortgage broker were related I believed my client wasn’t going to be able to get a mortgage after all and withdrew him from the deal and thought I was finished with him.
He called me less than a week after that deal died and asked to see three more homes. I told him I was confused because he couldn’t get financing and he said he had a new pre-approval from the largest bank in the country. This time I got the letter, called the rep on it and he in fact confirmed that this buyer was pre-approved and would be able to get financing.
The buyer wanted to see homes well above his pre-approval max and because I had already spent so much time with him, wanted to gear him down to reality. I didn’t mention that I had already written half a dozen offers previously for him, none of which was negotiated successfully because he was determined to get something for a steal.
I showed him two more homes before he asked to see something 25% above what he could afford to buy. I refused and then offered to release him from our buyer agency contract. He said he would call me back. He did, agreed to my releasing him and we wished each other the best.
Two months later I read in the local real estate transactions in the paper that he ended up buying a house I had shown him that he was able to afford, without an agent.
My fault? Without a doubt. Wasted time and energy are sometimes unavoidable in our business unfortunately. But glamour? Oh yeah, I never felt more glamorous than after working with that buyer.
THE POOP SCOOP
Yes, I had a poop house also, very room covered with poop – a foreclosure where the owners took everything but their dog which they must have left in the house for a month with plenty of food and water.
THE STRIPPED SEARCH
Another foreclosure that literally had everything removed, including the trim and the light switches, all appliances, tubs, cabinets, toilets – the works, and the ceiling broken through with insulation pulled out.
DOG FLOG
A dog taller than me (I am 5’10″) silently meets me at the door, knocks me down as I open the door and escapes running pell mell down the street. No mention of pet in the showing instructions. This was with a client I took to see 63 homes (I am not joking – this was my record – never again), he argued with his wife constantly, once while I was backing down a curved driveway and I was so distracted that I hit a mailbox (the owner of the box was very nice), wrote 5 contracts on five different houses for (low-ball offers) and blamed me because there was a hidden kool-aid stain on the carpet on the one he finally purchased.
THE KEY SPREE
Love the homes where the agent says there is a Supra keybox, but when you get there, there is either no key or it turns out they have put the key in a coded box but forgot to change/enter the correct showing instructions or mention that on the phone when you spoke to them the day before when they could easily give you the code. Or the lastest, where a combination lock on the door actually had a ‘spinner’ with no instructions with which direction to turn. The greatest key fiasco was on Saturday when I was showing lofts and condos. Instead of an airconditioned keybox room the keyboxes were outside on a rail – at least a dozen. Due to the intense sun in the location of the keyboxes, the stickers showing the unit numbers were completely faded. Which box do I open to show the three units I need to show??? To top it off, after opening the boxes, only two agents bothered to mark the keys themselves which made it almost impossible to remember – I had to focus for a couple of minutes and memorize which keys went back to what box with no legible numbers on the boxes — can you say NIGHTMARE? Also one of the fobs to get in the front door was broken and not working (which was not a big deal since I had to open every box to make sure I could get in the units I needed to show) and one of the keyboxes was completely empty.
- oh brother — the GLAMOUR.
So many of these stories are so funny, I was actually laughing out loud. We all have our share of strange and unusual occurrances, but the ones about the dead people are really creepy.
how about showing raw land and getting so civered in ticks I had to stop at a grocery store on the way home, strip in the barhroom stall and pull over 60 ticks off to flush down the toilet- clients, equally covered in ticks drove straight home and cleaned up
I moved from Dallas to a small town and decided to try my hand at selling real estate. Couldn’t wait to get out in the country and start showing property. My broker was a good mentor and took me along with her the first few weeks so I could observe her in action. I had attended a few MLS meetings with her and noticed how practical all the other female Realtor’s shoes were, and said to myself “I wouldn’t be caught dead in such ugly shoes, what are those women thinking, wearing shoes like that?” My idea of what a Realtor “should” look like didn’t jive with practical-looking shoes.
A few days later my Broker asked me if I would like to ride along while she showed 145 acres she had listed and I jumped at the opportunity. When we pulled up to the gate into the pasture I noticed a flock of large black buzzards off in the distance and thought how cool it was to be out in the country, showing property amongst nature. She started driving her prospects all around the property and when we came to a cross-fence asked me to hop out and open the gate, which I gladly did. As I was opening the door it did cross my mind that we were pretty close to where I’d noticed the buzzards. I jumped out in the 12″ deep grass and felt something odd – looked down and the heel of my cute strappy little sandal was lodged in the rib cage of some animal! trying not to cause a scene and extract my shoe from the carcass was taking longer than it should so my Broker leaned over and asked what on earth was taking me so long. Still trying to remain professional I answered that I thought my heel might be stuck in a cow’s ribcage. She hopped out to help and said “oh silly, that’s just a deer, not a cow” and stepped past me to open the gate.
Leave it to say at that moment I understood why the other Realtors had on such “ugly” shoes! I haven’t worn little sandals very often since that day, in fact have since worn out more than a few pairs of boots showing land.
I can definitly relate to the shoe story. When I first started out as a Realtor, I would always wear my cute shoes or sandals–which would always match my outfits. After being in real estate about three months, and especially when I started working in new construction, I quickly kicked my cute shoes to the curb…that is, the few remaining pair that were not covered in mud, had broken heels, or covered with poop.
I had a showing on a home that had been sprayed for Roaches a few days before. When I unlocked the front door opened it, stepped in to take the key out of the door, close to 100 roaches fell on my head. They had moved to the door frame to escape the bug spray, and there was a large gap at the top of the door for them to hide…I did not sell that house!
Glamorous? Hardly. Waking up at 4:00 to get in touch with an asset manager in Florida isn’t my idea of a good time nor is it glamorous when you’re trying to see through the fog in your head to speak in terms at that hour that the bank will understand.
I’m 45 minutes away from showing a foreclosure that will not qualify for financing. It’s been stripped worse than any other foreclosure I’ve seen. If I could post a few before and after pictures here I would as you’d have to see it to believe the amount of damage that’s been done to what was once a property that sold over $800k. Not only are the appliances missing, but the cabinetry that held them, all systems have been removed and I’m wondering how much more we’ll uncover once we are up close and personal…Does anyone have a gas mask?
I showed a home to a client a few years ago that was vacant, formerly owned by an elderly woman. In the master bedroom, on the wall next to the bed was a small button with a placard that said something along the lines of “press in case of emergency”. Naturally, my male client just HAD to push the button to see what would happen. What happened was an ear-piercing alarm went off, triggering police and EMTs to be dispatched to the home. When I explained that I was a real estate agent, the officers rolled their eyes and left… with the alarm still blaring. Thankfully I was able to find a hidden panel and alarm code in the kitchen and disarm the system.
I enjoy the stories. My current brokerage activities come through the ranks of personal real estate investing and property management. While I have stories related to showings as a Realtor, the property management incidents are quite rich. One that comes to mind is a tenant in a 4-plex called to inform that water is dripping from his ceiling. The tenant residing in the apartment above him is deaf. I arrive, assess the water in the lower apartment, then proceed to announce my entrance into the apartment above. Since she is deaf, I flash lights on/off, yell, pound on walls (thinking she may sense the vibrations), and ease into the apartment. I find her passed out/asleep/dead sitting naked in the bathtub. She had splashed large amounts of water over the edge of the tub, which then found a way into the apartment below. Is she dead?! I need to check for a pulse. But if she is just asleep and wakes up as I check for pulse, I’ll be a defendant in an assault case. I quickly back out of the bathroom, out of the line of sight, and reach in to flip light switch off/on repeatedly hoping she is NOT dead and that I can awaken her. She wakes, startled, and I exit hastily. Then I text her with a full explanation of why I was in her apartment. She did not renew her lease.
I’ve recently listed a large, beautiful home for rent at $1850 per month. Call me crazy, but if I were renting at that price, I’d want the home immaculate and everything in working order upon move-in. Right?
Upon viewing the property, I noticed that the contractor white walls were filthy and in bad need of a paint job. I also noticed that the washer and dryer, which were to be included in rent, were not working properly, and the soft water system was not hooked up.
Of course, I called all of my observations to the attention of the homeowner. The homeowner replied by asking me if we could get the new tenant to contribute to the repainting costs, pay a portion of the appliance repair for the washer and dryer and pay for the soft water system to be hooked up!
Really?! I reiterated, in the nicest way possible, that, as his own landlord, it was his responsibility to have the home in living condition prior to renting it out. To make a really long story short, he’s not giving in, and he’s wondering why there are no takers on his house.
I can relate – it’s August 30th so this is quite a bit later than most of your posts – however…
Yesterday, I was squeezing thru a chain link fence opening on my back to gain access to my clients land for sale. It was 10:00 am but already 89 degrees… needed to follow a dry stream bed up the hill to show it. The Cooperating Broker looked at me like I was crazy when I showed him how we needed to access the property, but he came along. Luckily his clients were young – unlike myself and the Coop Broker. When I found myself huffing and puffing for air, I sent the young ‘uns up the hill, and caught up later.
Rushed back home for a change of clothes (sorry, no time for a shower) and on to my next showing, a world of difference away on an oceanfront property.
Gotta love this job!
OH BOY! WHERE DO WE START? 4 YEARS AGO WITH THE SELLER ON MEDICATION WHO PUT A SHOTGUN UP AND TOLD ME HES SICK OF NOT BEING TOLD ABOUT THESE “SURPRISE” SHOWINGS? THE TWO HUGE BARKING DOGS WHO CAME RUNNING DOWN THE STAIRS AT US ONCE WE GOT INSIDE THE DOORS WHILE NO ONE ELSE WAS HOME? THE DEAD CRISPY DEHYDRATED RATS WE KICK ACCROSS THE FLOOR IN THE DARK VACANT BANK OWNED? THE “POOP” IS JUST A GIVEN IT LOOKS LIKE ON HERE…I MEAN, ITS THEIR HOUSE…WHY FLUSH FOR US RIGHT..?
THE SELLER WHO REFUSES TO PUT HIS “SENSITIVE” MAGAZINES AWAY FOR SHOWINGS AS ITS “HIS” HOUSE…AND THEY SHOULDNT LOOK AT IT IF THEY DONT LIKE IT!? (WHAT WAS I THINKING).
A LITTLE PILE OF DEAD FUR AT THE BOTTOM OF THE STAIRS THAT SMELLED LIKE DEATH..(YES I THREW UP)
AGAIN, THE NAKED PEOPLE SEEMS LIKE A GIVEN ON HERE…MINE YELLED AT HIS GIRLFRIEND AFTER ANSWERING THE DOOR TO GET BACK INSIDE BECAUSE HE “WASNT DONE YET”? REALLY…?
TMI.
OH YES, THERE WAS THIS HOUSE THAT WAS ALL BORDED UP ACCROSS THE WINDOWS THAT HAD SYRINGES ON THE FLOOR AND “GET THE **** OUTTA MY HOUSE!” PAINTED ON THE WALL. OK, I STEPPED OUTSIDE ONCE I OPENED THE DOOR FOR THE INVESTORS. JUST WASNT FEELIN IT GUYS.
AND MY FAVORITE: THERE WAS A SIGN ON A HOME THAT READS: PROSTITUTES, TAKE YOUR BUSINESS ELSEWHERE! I DONT HAVE ENOUGH SPACE TO WRITE EVERYTHING FOR THE LAST 12 YEARS. NEEDLESS TO SAY THESE THINGS NOT ONLY OPENED MY EYES AS TO BUSINESS PRACTICES BUT THAT NOTHING IS WORTH YOUR COMPROMISED SAFETY. IF YOU FEEL A PIT IN YOUR STOMACH….DONT GO!
I walked up to the “front” door, which was on the side of the home. It was pretty narrow, and I was looking over my shouder talking to my client. I put the key in the lock, heard a rattling noise, and looked down to see a rattle snake right at my feet. I jumped, turned, screamed and almost knocked down my client elderly mom trying to save them from “the killer snake.” The snake actually struck me, but didn’t break the skin. Someone was obviously watching over me that day, because I had just found out I was pregnant!
I think the strangest thing I ever saw at a house, was a pile of beer and liquor bottles 5 feet high up against the fence and ran about 20 feet at least. The house was also full of liquor bottles in every room.
Oh ya, and then there was the house being rented by HOARDERs. It was incredible. I advised the agent to call the tenants family for an intervention. It was truly THAT bad. Just like on the TV show.
I guesss we all probably have a lot of these stories!
At least our job is never dull.
Wow Lisa, the job is anything but dull.
Brought a buyer for a second showing on a forclosed home then to my surprise the whole kitchen was gone.they wanted to make an offer cause they loved the kitchen. low and behold the whole kitchen was gone cabinets and all!!
Same thing happened to me! ^^
I was showing foreclosures in an upscale neighborhood to new clients. We entered a home that the owners had trashed,opened windows and let the hose is to ruin the wood floors. The biggest surprise was the huge glass greenhouse in the back near the pool. I looked closely and realized it had been a grow house just as my client opened the pool storage room that housed a huge generator for it. Well, we had a good laugh and moved to the next home.It had a double sweeping staircase to the right and left of the living room to the second floor. As I entered to the right they went up to the left. To my dismay I realized that the room I was in had been used as a porn studio, complete with a built in platform about 3 feet in up and there were still signs of the business on the walls.Since I had found a former recording studio in the back of a foreclosure my son purchased I figured I had now covered all bases: SEX,DRUGS and ROCK N ROLL!
Hi Ginger,
Glamourous?..hardly…I can laugh about this now. But as a new agent, of three months, I was at the end of a 4 home showing tour with a new buyer customer. I drove and had her in my car as we pulled up in front of the last property on the showing list. The listing stated the property was vacant and it definitely looked it from the exterior! I kind of expected Herman Munster to answer the door! But before we got out of the car, the buyer said that “…she has had several interacial relationships….BLAH, BLAH…” YIKES! RED-FLAG..where’d that come from?!! I completely ignored her and mentioned that we need to see this property because “…I need to get back to the office.” Boy did I ever !!!! After a few minutes in the property, it was now obvious that she is not terribly interested in the home. “..Did I ever show you my tatoo?”. The question caught me off guard and I just stood there…I think I said “huh!?!?!”. She then turned around and pushed her jeans down half-mast to show me a tatoo of an anchor on her bottom. I turned and started for the front door. On the way out I told her that she would have to tour the home on her own. She exited the home and got in my car as if nothing happened!?!? Fine.. I didn’t…COULDN’T bring it up either!! I was about 10 minutes into the 20 minute drive back to my office before I realized that I still had the key and just totally forgot to secure the property! I reported the incident to my broker and asked her to make an official record of the incident and that she needs to reassign the buyer customer to another agent. I retold the incident to my wife and she was in tears laughing. I didn’t laugh then..but I can laugh about it now. Our job is tough and at times, bizarre!
Just like all of you, too many stories to tell after the last nine years in real estate! Have had the dog poop (which rendered some good money to my buyers at the closing table for clean up costs), trade the snake stories for a 6 foot iquana (thankfully in a cage) that was owned by the illegal tenant in a bedroom upstairs who also did not announce himself and scared us half to death! Also, had the naked man in the bathroom whose wife did not bother to tell me he was in there (she was standing 10 feet away). Great Saturday morning activity!
One of my favorites was the Sunday that I did a “double” open house for my client. The first house was an investment property and was vacant. There had been snow the night before and, naturally, the snow removal was not done when I arrived. So, I lightly shoveled the drive and the walkway to the door only to find there was no heat. Dutifully stayed there for two hours shivering with my coat on (did try to reach my client to no avail). Two ladies came by and I chatted them up for awhile. Went straight to the next open house which was lived in by the same client, lightly shoveled the drive and walkway again with my very cold toes and fingers. I had told the two ladies to come by and see me at the next listing which they did. We walked in together only to find the heat was kept at 55 degrees when they were out of town and set on a timer which I could not change. The ladies were a bit surprised to find out I only list freezing cold homes! Dutifully stayed another two hours (the open houses were heavily advertised), went home, took a very hot shower, bundled up and proceeded to wake up with a whopping cold the next day. What glamour!!!!!
Why I ever took that short sale on, I don’t know. He went to bed at 5pm (got up to go to work at 3 am), got home about 3 – 5 HUGE dogs on the property and they wouldn’t lock all of them up in the basement bedroom (drywall and tile floors were shredded by the dogs), so couldn’t show unless they were home between 3pm-5 pm. She was a hoarder so you couldn’t walk through the property, he smoked like a chimney and every time I was with him I came home reeking of smoke and would take my clothes off and immediately wash them and take a shower and wash my hair. He was constantly scratching, my guess fleas, which always made me want to take even more of a shower. less than a week before the bank was going to foreclose, with almost no showing (they never let anyone in), a cash buyer asked to see it, wrote a contract and could close in time (thank goodness I used a short sale lawyer who set up an owner by contract deal on it when I listed it, so the short sale paperwork was already done and in place at the bank). When I took over the contract to be signed, I was sitting on the couch with ants crawling up my arm biting me. When we closed, we brought the title company to them and we all stayed outside and did the paperwork on the hood of the car. I gave them a dumpster bag as a closing gift.
Having a client insist on a high rise, but also insist on sound proof walls and windows. I had to witness him lying down on the floor of the bedrooms AND lying on the floor of closets, closing his eyes, and pretending to sleep. AWKWARD. At least our job is entertaining. And at least all humans are different; how boring would that be?
I have two stories that come to mind.
1) I was a newer agent and needed to make sales, so I put up with a lot. I had a VERY beligerent buyer who found fault with everything I did or said. A few days before closing I get an angry call from the sellers attorney asking where the extra money was coming from…HUH? Seems the buyer decided not to go with a 80-10-10 loan because he didn’t want to pay PMI, and changed the mortgage to a conventional loan without telling me or his attorney. Of course the other attorney was questioning where the other 10% was coming from since the contract indicated otherwise. Then the day of closing, it’s 90 degrees and humid. We go to the walkthrough about 2 hours prior to closing and the SELLERS only have 1 of 2 moving vans half loaded. There’s stuff everywhere in the house, and I can’t get the listing agent on the phone. My buyer is pissed. I tell him go to closing, by the time I get there this house will be empty and clean. So in my red silk blouse, I pull my hair in a pony tail and start throwing boxes on the lawn, emptying a dishwasher (with DIRTY dishes), washer (with wet clothes) into boxes, scrubbing sinks etc, and ordering the sellers around like crazy. By the time I left, the house was swept, vacuumed, and the sellers were still in shock that all their posessions were out on the front lawn. I finally get to closing and my silk blouse is saturated with sweat. My clients decided that THIS was the day they would also babysit their 2 1/2 year old niece who is sitting on the brand new cordovan leather chair in my good friends brand new law office. The niece urinates all over the chair and my buyers didn’t even offer to help clean up the mess or pay to repair the chair. The sellers attorney ask’s me “what happened to you?” and I swear my head spun around like the exorcist as I growled “I just spent 2 hours cleaning YOUR clients house so we could have a closing !!”. I give the client his closing gift (new barbeque tool set) and wish him the best in his new home. About a month later, I receive an email from Quality Certification with this particular clients evaluation of my service. He gave me a 1 out of 5, and even took time to write that he thought I didn’t represent him properly throughout the transaction.
Sitting at the closing table with a seller excited, that their home was sold and that they would be able to finally close on the new one that they had picked out and moved into a few days prior to closing. As we wait for the buyer to show up, we are told by his agent that he was at the bank and running late. 2.5 hours later he is still a no show, the buyers agent can no longer get ahold of him. The buyer’s agent leaves, and my sellers decide to stay and wait longer, so we all eat lunch at the attorney’s office. The next day we get a call from the buyer’s agent saying he still wants the home, but can’t close till Friday and she will be out of town. Friday comes and goes and still a no show. The sellers decide to move back to their old home and go on with their lives when the buyer’s agent calls again and says he will close on Monday. This goes on for about 2 weeks, everytime they decide to move back to their old house, we were told he is ready to close. To this day he has still not shown up, but we have all moved on with our lives.
I always tell my clients, whether they are buyers or sellers, that HGTV it’s NOT!!!
Some of these stories are really great and all too common for us!
Done the poop. Done the viscious dog the owner thinks is just showing “love” when he’s drawing blood. Done the “empty” house with the squatter 2 feet away thinking he won’t be seen if he stands REALLY still. Best story: I had a VERY prim, proper and uptight buyer couple. Really, they were almost cartoonish, they were SO proper. Of course, they suggested that we take a side-trip to tour a home I had not previewed.
Inside the 3000 square-foot house: no closets, no doors, floor-to-ceiling poles in some of the “private rooms.” The hallways had been opened up so you could see right into the bedrooms, the kitchen was a huge, disco-like bar. There were 3 huge hot tubs, built-in banquettes in many of the rooms, the yard had been made into a 10-car parking lot and there were odd platforms, swings, “etc.” hung from the ceilings. My buyers had never HEARD of a “Swingers’ Club” before, much less been inside one. With red, nervous faces, they laughed and laughed as we went from room to room. “Oo, look at that! What do you suppose THAT is for? Don’t touch that – you don’t know what’s been on it!” Really, the funiest situation I have ever been in!
I knew something was up when my clients, a mother and her two children, and I walked into the house and there was a “dancer’s pole” in the living room. I immediately backed the children out of the house to the grandmother waiting in the car. Bedroom #1 was staged as a “Doctor’s Examining Room”, bedroom #2 was staged as a “Victorian Boudoir”, complete with mirrors, and bedroom #3 was painted all black, with chains and whips hanging from the ceiling and walls and filming equipment…This was a foreclosure, located in a neighborhood, filthy dirty, no electricity…scary stuff!
Wow. So just why didn’t I contemplate that?
I guarantee any publishing company would combine all of our stories in volumes. Sort of like the Chicken Soup Chronicles. The problem is, only other Realtors would get the joke, but it should be mandatory pre-test reading for anyone in real estate school.
Anywhere from a Doberman trapping me and a client on the otherside of a closed bedroom door when he escaped his cage. To a fellow 80 year old agent that fell asleep on the floor during an open house only to be found by a prospect who walked in. He was the one that almost had the heart attack as the agent awoke. To the guy that called one of our rookie agents wanting to buy a home all cash and when the agent arrived at the mans house he produced a mass mailed Publishers Clearing House check-Void of course. To an owners kids skipping school smoking pot in their room as my client and myself walked in- no we did not partake. I have a million of ‘em.
Thankfully, we don’t have fleas where I work now in Northwest Montana but when I started out as a Realtor in North Texas, I had planned to show a little rental house to a couple of investors. Fortunately, another agent in my office had shown the property and told me there there were fleas jumping all over them the day before. My clients chose to go ahead and look at the property before the listing agent had a chance to fumigate the property. I went to the store ahead of time and bought flea spray which my clients sprayed on their pant legs before going inside. I waited outside on the side walk!
How about the time I was showing a property to a nice couple and we were greeted at the door by a very pleasant owner who said she would hang out on the porch while we toured the house. She forgot to mention that her elderly father was home upstairs, and we encountered him quietly reading the paper on the toilet…
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I’m an REO agent and I think my favorite story is from one of my earliest post-foreclosure evictions. The occupant I had offered cash for keys to was arrested for stealing a car with a baby in the back seat a few days after my offer. Imagine my surprise when I read that in the Sunday paper! Since he was incarcerated at the time of the scheduled exchange the bank went ahead with the sheriff’s eviction. Two officers met me at the house, which was vacant now, so they entered the property with me and we did a quick walk through to make sure it was truly vacant. As we were upstairs in a bedroom I glanced out the window and saw men running out of the garage with their arms full of tools, TV’s, and anything they could carry. (We had opened the garage door and as soon as they saw the opportunity, they started looting the house!) They ran off down the street with their arms full as the cops chased them with their weapons drawn. Ah, good times…
German Shepherd attack story:
Went to a rental client’s house for the first time, knocked on the porch door.
It couldn’t be heard in the house so I entered the porch and knocked on the kitchen door. Heard the owner shouting and his HUGE German shepherd opened the door with his nose, sunk his teeth into my leather jacket (and I NEVER wear leather jackets) and pinned me to the wall until the owner dragged him off.
Apparently the dog felt protective about the porch.
The jacket had two large tears where the dog had ripped into it.
I was okay but wow! His teeth had been only a couple of inches from my neck.
I told th owner he should change the door latch to a knob.
“He knows how to open those, too,” he said.
I was lucky.
I knew I had my work cut out for me when my new buyer client showed up in the lobby of our Re/Max office wearing a full length fur coat in the middle of July!! No kidding! We were having our usual streak of 90 degree plus temprature days and this huge 350 pound man is wearing a pure white heavy fur coat! I showed him 5 homes that day all in the 3 million dollar plus price point as he requested. At the end of our last viewing he put his finger in my chest and asked me if this is the best I had to offer? He was quite upset claiming I had not showed him homes that fit his criteria. He wanted bigger and nicer! To make a long story short this wanna be cash buyer turned out to be a poser. This was first found out when he was seen driving away from our office in a rusted, late model ford tempo. No million dollar plus sale here!
Ahh mans best friend! While sitting at the kitchen table of a young couple listing there home; Their adorable 50 pound 9 month old puppy walked right over and puked in my purse!
This job is far from glamorous!
A sad but true story from the Mid West!
Listed a home that I had sold to this buyer a few years earlier….he bought with another agent ….
A tough, hard guy….
While I had it listed he killed his wife(not in the house) after we had an offer and then killed himself( not in the house) there was money left for the kids from the proceeds of the sale…..
I love my job…it is not a glamorous job!
Glamorous job??? What about dealing with disgruntled Buyers and Sellers? I had a Buyer who was purchasing a home for his son and daughter-in-law. He wasn’t happy with the price the Sellers where asking so he wrote a very low, insulting offer on it. My Sellers countered the offer with full price. When the Buyer received the counter offer for full price, I got a phone call and the worst tongue lashing I have ever gotten. He proceeded to tell me what he didn’t like about the house (and included a lot of swear words!) and insisted he would never spend that kind of money on a house, especially that house. I reminded him that he is the one who wrote the offer and that no one is forcing him to purchase this home. At this point I encourgaged him to walk away (trying to keep calm but of course really wanting this sale!). He did not walk away; instead I worked with his wife and they ended up purchaseing the home ($3,000 less than list price!!). I will never forget that transaction and how I was treated….and my friends that sold the home never let me forget either!
We seem to be the ones that get the blame when something doesn’t go right. How Glamorous is that?
Yes, it is glamourous!Ha! HA!
Little did I know, that when I signed up to be a Realtor….I would have to be a producer,blogger,movie star,script writer, mind reader,shrink,and a photographer!
Never mind having to master the smart phones, Ipads,video cameras,and various other contraptions that are supposed to cutting edge and make my life easier.
Every Tom, Dick and Harry has a product for a monthly fee, that will expose my properties and make them sell.
I spent the best part of this morning being towed by a tractor thru a muddy cow pasture!
I have been greeted by Dobermans,broken pipes and undisclosed alarm systems.
The only thing I can say is….We need nerves of steel, the patience of saints,be tech saavy,
know how to juggle,and pray alot!
I’ve been a full time Realtor in Fairfield County, CT, for the last 14 years….I realized soon into the business that Reatlors REALLY do need Support Groups, as there is no other business where you don’t get paid anything for your time and expertise, get emotionally abused at every turn, and sorry guys, but particularly women Realtors…the amount of sexism displayed blows me away, but I’m from NYC so I’m used to women being perecived as ‘people”, love those male clients that have actully told me to “shut up” in front of their wives (who then stand there and say nothing)! Lately I seem to be running into a rash of professional male clients who end up flipping out when under pressure, telling me literally that “they are in charge” “I must listen to them, to ignore their wife”….unreal!
Poop, panties greeting us in the front doorway, toilets not flushed, dogs that won’t leave your ‘private’ area alone, sellers who scream at you in front of your client because you’re 5 minutes late, having to go down non-existent stairs on a builders back because the stairs aren’t in yet, literally showing buyers (whose house I just sold) over 400 homes!!!!! in 5 surrounding towns (even though they lived in the area for over 14 years), couples who somehow think you’re their mother or best friend (or invisible) and constantly fight and scream at each other in front of you while trapped in the car with them, walking around the grounds of a home w/your buyer to suddenly realize a bird has dropped alittle something from the sky on my jacket, the seller who screamed at me late at night because the inspector for the buyers found some issues, real issue – told him I didn’t build the house and he’d have to call back when he could stop cursing, sellers who micromanage EVERYTHING you do (although they are 20 years younger, have no sales experience, you were highly referred to them, but they know best!)….
And then there’s the scenario we’ve all had – the parents coming to see the kids’ first house right before they put the offer in – the absolute kiss of death!, driving around with a couple and their child who has the smelliest diaper and for some reason, they don’t want to change it, slipping on wet grass and your client keeps walking, losing one heel of a shoe and having to continue to show homes with one shoe on, the other off, no suggestion that maybe we should reschedule.
Oh and LOVE the clients who can only call you after 9PM (for a ridiculous little question) on an almost daily basis, and then complain that you take a whole day to return their calls! (meaning at 8am the next morning), the sellers who ask what they should do to prep their homes for sale and then argue about everything you suggest!
Before this horrible market I was primarily a listing agent, as we all knew that was the smarter way to make money, vs. being a “wheel” estate agent (love that expression), but in this Buyers Market give me a buyer (vs a listing) anyday! assuming they are truly capable of buying.
It’s a crazy business and personally it’s become way too toxic for me. You’re dealing with people’s personal lives, personal money, especially in the stress of this economy. People do not seem to understand approporiate boundaries, would they ever say and do the things they do to us to their Attorney, to their Doctor or Accountant? Most people really do not have a clue how much knowledge it takes to be a GOOD, professional Realtor, and the disrespect shows. If you do this for extra money, you can walk from the abusive people, but I’m a single mom, supporting 3 teens and NEED the money, cannot walk away so easily (although I have a few times, there’s only so much you can take). I have, with all this complaining, had some AMAZINGLY wonderful clients as well I must say, who I adored, still am in touch with and SO appreciated and they did me! They’re not ALL mean, horrible people, but let’s face it the home buying/selling process does NOT bring out the best, in anyone!!! and we get to be the target of their frustration, anger, disappointment etc.
On a last note, and this says it all, I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer 6 years ago, had just gotten a new listing, told the homeowner as I knew they would hear it from the grapevine and wanted to assure them that it would not interfere with my listing efforts (how sick to have to even say that), their response….well I certainly hope not because if it does we’ll have to get another Realtor, such kindness and although I sold their home quickly and for a lot more than they thought they’d get, over the few months, they never once asked me how I was!! I had 6 surgeries over 2 years, 16 weeks of chemo, 6 weeks of daily radiation and truly never took more than 2 days off because I HAD to earn….some of my clients were incredibly supportive, wonderful, etc. but then there were those who would get annoyed that I couldn’t do an Open House on a particular day because that was my chemo day!
To end all this negativity on a lighter note, the funniest story though happened during this time of cancer treatment, funny to me because I’ve learned to laugh at myself (or you can’t survive in this biz). I had a single man in my car next to me in the front seat, we’re driving around a parking lot and a car suddenly pulls out and I had to brake very hard and fast to avoid an accident…when I got over the momentary shock I realized that in jerking forward with the sudden stop, my wig (lost all my hair w/the chemo) had flown off my head and was sitting on the dashboard and there I am, totally bald. I quickly put it back on, neither of us acknowledged it and we just continued on…in retrospect very funny, although obviously NOT a funny situation.
Crazy biz, still doing it but realize it has started to feel like I’m going ‘to war on a daily basis’ and that is NO WAY TO LIVE! aside from not having free time, having to be available at a moments notice,no benefits, no financial certainty, etc….it’s emotionally time to move on! It’s truly become too toxic.
Lots of advertising/marketing/branding experience from NYC years ago (and of course we bring all that to being Realtors)….any suggestions for new career paths are more than welcomed!!
Finding a job I can make decent money at, actually get a paycheck, have a normal routine and not have to deal with people at their absolute worst, that will be a challenge but I have not doubt how much happier I will be once I find it!!!
Thanks for letting me vent and rant alittle, my fellow Realtors….you couldn’t make this stuff up! and only those of us who’ve been out there can understand! Oh yes, the “glamourous life of a Realtor”!!!