When an agent’s job ventures into unglamorous territory it can get downright dirty. Last week, in honor of Thanksgiving, we shared your stories about feasts with “friends” and you found the tale of Deborah’s refined rat and the account of Patricia’s cringe-worthy chuck roast to be equally entertaining.
This week we’ve got a mess of fun stories about homes and experiences that turned out to be hot messes. Read on and vote for your favorite!
Nothing has ever topped the listing I had in the late 70′s of an antique cape on 30+ acres here in southeastern MA. Of course, at the then asking price in the mid-30′s, I had plenty of calls. And try as I might to screen buyers by telling them the TRUE condition of the property, they insisted on a showing.
So I took them to this place, inhabited for a long time by a challenged older woman who kept all her cats indoors for so long that they had inbred and it showed in many deformities. There was a turtle in the bathtub, which will tell you how often that tub was used for its original purpose. The kitchen floor appeared to be dirt, but it wasn’t — there was a dog permanently tied to the kitchen stove and you can figure out the rest. She heated with kerosene; the smell clung to your clothes when you left. Get the true picture? It assaulted all the senses, from the time you approached the back door and the rats scurried out of your way to the time you forced yourself to go upstairs through catland.
I had one woman go into hysterics before we even got in the door, another guy pull his turtleneck sweater up over his face to try to block out the smell, a seasoned investor get back in my car and ask me please to take him somewhere so he could wash his hands.
But I sold it, and moved her into a clean, neat little place where she could still have some animals. And today that 30 acre parcel is a lovely restored antique cape sitting prettily on the beautiful piece of land that was left after three other house lots were carved off of the original, each with quality colonial reproduction houses built. Had many experiences since then, but nothing ever topped that one.
I went to a client’s home to have an open house and found the cat’s drippings all over the house and the stench! The owner was staying at her boy friend’s home for weeks! I ended up with a real doozy [of an] asthma attack! Doctor’s diagnosis: “Occupational Hazard”! LOL – being a real estate agent is certainly not glamorous!
I was a newer agent and needed to make sales, so I put up with a lot. I had a VERY belligerent buyer who found fault with everything I did or said. Then the day of closing, it’s 90 degrees and humid. We go to the walkthrough about 2 hours prior to closing and the SELLERS only have 1 of 2 moving vans half loaded. There’s stuff everywhere in the house, and I can’t get the listing agent on the phone. My buyer is pissed. I tell him go to closing, by the time I get there this house will be empty and clean.
So in my red silk blouse, I pull my hair in a pony tail and start throwing boxes on the lawn, emptying a dishwasher (with DIRTY dishes), washer (with wet clothes) into boxes, scrubbing sinks etc, and ordering the sellers around like crazy. By the time I left, the house was swept, vacuumed, and the sellers were still in shock that all their possessions were out on the front lawn.
I finally get to closing and my silk blouse is saturated with sweat. My clients decided that THIS was the day they would also babysit their 2 1/2 year old niece who is sitting on the brand new cordovan leather chair in my good friend’s brand new law office. The niece urinates all over the chair and my buyers didn’t even offer to help clean up the mess or pay to repair the chair. The sellers attorney asks me “what happened to you?” and I swear my head spun around like the exorcist as I growled “I just spent 2 hours cleaning YOUR clients house so we could have a closing!”
Do you have a “glamorous” story that you’d like to share? Post it in a comment below and it might be featured in a future post.
And if you can’t get enough, check out our past volumes. They’re sure to make you laugh and appreciate your regular real estate routine.
The Glamorous Life of a Real Estate Agent – Volume 1: Insect Encounters
The Glamorous Life of a Real Estate Agent – Volume 2: Cops & Robbers
The Glamorous Life of a Real Estate Agent – Volume 3: I See Dead People
The Glamorous Life of a Real Estate Agent – Volume 4: The Bare Naked Truth
The Glamorous Life of a Real Estate Agent – Volume 5: Gone to the Dogs
The Glamorous Life of a Real Estate Agent – Volume 6: See You Later Alligator
The Glamorous Life of a Real Estate Agent – Volume 7: A Feast for Friends